Barbara Walters (The Interview Song)

Words & Music by Christopher Kent

It’s a long, long way to the top when you’re in show biz
But whenever I lose faith and start to falter
I just practice my acceptance speech for all those big awards
And rehearse what I will say to Barbara Walters

Oh Barbara Walters
You give good interview
Oh Barbara Walters
Let me confide in you
After all the dues I’ve paid and all that I’ve been through
I’ll know I’ve made it when I get my Barbara Walters interview

She will not talk to you until you hit the big time
Then she’ll show the world what lies behind that media facade
If the public thinks you’re weird, she’ll prove you’re normal
If you seem normal, she’ll prove you’re pretty odd

Oh Barbara Walters
You give good interview
Oh Barbara Walters
Let me confide in you
After all the dues I’ve paid and all that I’ve been through
I’ll know I’ve made it when I get my Barbara Walters interview

Bridge:
I’ll tell her all the traumas of my childhood
And how I’ve always been one of her admirers
And I’ll set the record straight about the scandals and the rumors
That were printed in the National Enquirer

I’ll tell her how success has been so painful,
But how I would not want to change a thing
And when she asks me what my biggest dream in life has been
I’ll shed a tear or two, and then I’ll start to sing this song:

Oh Barbara Walters
I want that interview!
Oh Barbara Walters
Let me confide in you
After all the dues I’ve paid and all that I’ve been through
I’ll know I made it when I get my Barbara Walters interview —
Yes, I’ll know I’ve made it when I get my Barbara Walters interview

— It was entirely my pleasure, Barbara!

Copyright 1996 by Christopher Kent. All rights reserved.